Kermit: Yes I know, but its such a nice, sunny day & I want to finish the paper
Prawn: What are you reading?
Kermit: The comics section..
Prawn: Ahh.. but shouldn't you be reading the unemployment section?
Kermit: Well.. yes but first I read the comics, then I do the crossword puzzle
Prawn: I see...
Kermit: Then I do Sudoku and then I enjoy the sports section..
Prawn: Ahh.. I suppose I shouldn't expect my wages paid today then?
Kermit: Don't worry Prawn.. as soon as I find work, you'll get all your back wages
Prawn: Ahhh yes.. Perhaps it is I who should be reading the unemployed section..
Statler: Well, I don't like you either Waldorf because you're a Republican.
Waldorf: Hmmmff.. you Democrats are all alike.. I bet you believe in higher taxes for the rich, don't you?
Statler: Well um.. no, not really. I don't want to pay a penny more than I absolutely must
Waldorf: Well you Democrats are a bunch of anti-war love-power hippies
Statler: Hehh.. hardly.. I support our operations in Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya
Waldorf: Well.. Hmm.. you Dems are pinko Marxist Socialist Commies who do not believe in free markets
Statler: No, I fully support doing anything to help the markets grow and allow corporations banks to become larger and more wealthy
Waldorf: I don't get it then.. if we agree on everything, why are you a Democrat?
Statler: Heh Heh.. Exactly.. I've always wondered why you're a Republican??
Scooter: Hi Kermit.. what a great day isn't it?
Kermit: Not really.
Scooter: Why's that
Kermit: Well its bad enough I can't get a job but now I'm dealing with higher gas prices.. Jeez Louise! How is a frog supposed to drive from interview to interview when it costs me $60-75 each week to fill my car! It's just terrible Scooter...
Scooter: I totally sympathize with you buddy.
Kermit: So anyways... why are you so happy?
Scooter: Well, I put all my money in crude oil futures it is paying out like a bandit Kermit.. I just simply sit at home, click a few buttons and watch my bank account go Up as oil prices rise. And since everything I do is within walking distance, I am totally unaffected.. Heh Heh, yessirree.. a great day
Kermit: Get... Away... From.. Me..
Scooter: It is something I said?
Piggy: In other news, a poll taken today stated that the number of people who believe recovery is on a strong footing grew by 300% compared to just the previous month when only 1 person said he/she strongly believed the recovery was a success. The other 97% felt um.. differently... back to you Gonzo
Gonzo: Thanks Piggy. A study released by the University of Southwestern Alaska said that those unemployed who say the word "recovery" out loud 5x in a row each and every day are much more likely to find jobs than those who do not. Reportedly, a chemical is released from the brain upon saying the word 'recovery' in rapid succession which attracts potential employers to you much like a pheromone. Well that's good news Piggy..
Piggy: Yes it sure is Gonzo..Plus it is fun to say.. recovery..recovery..recovery heehee... Turning to finance, the Dow went up, Gold went up, the Dollar went down and judging by the smiling faces on the trading floor of the NYSE, I'd say its a pretty safe bet to assume this nation is Stronger than Ever
Gonzo: Yes Piggy.. Tougher than timber and Stronger than steel...coming up after the break, we'll continue with our Special Report called "How to charge you're way to Happiness"... We'll be right back
Waldorf: Not a clue- do you?
Statler: Nope, not a clue either.
Waldorf: It does seem pretty early to decide though doesn't it
Statler: You can never start the Presidential campaign too early
Waldorf: So how do you think the election will go?
Statler: The Democrat candidate will run as a fiscal Conservative and the Republicans will nominate a crazy old coot.. Before you laugh Waldorf, think about it.. Clinton beat Dole in 96 and Obama beat McCain in 08.
Waldorf: Well how come it didn't work out for the Democrats in 2000 & 2004?
Statler: Because both Gore and Kerry ran against a middle-aged coot.
Waldorf: Ahh.. So you're saying...
Statler: Yep- the Democrats are praying Newt Gingrich wins Rep nomination
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