Usually when the news reports something negative, they try to put a positive, happy spin on things. This is because people can generally only take so much bad news before they tune off completely. And because there's been so much bad news lately, particularly economically, the spin has to be even more upbeat. Now since this is not a 'doom & gloom' blog, for fun and satirical purposes, we thought we'd try our hand at the art of positive spin.
We will list some real headlines from the last 24 hours and attempt to provide optimism, hope, rosy outlook, a positive spin or however else one would describe sugarcoating... Of course we're being satirical in our commentaries but nonetheless, let's see if it makes the news more or less fun to read...
States face long slog after recession (AP) -- "At statehouses around the country, the Great Recession is far from over: It could take years for many states to climb out of the hole and return to pre-downturn spending levels."
* But remember, we're in a Recovery so all this is totally overblown.. plus it said 'many states', not all states so this state budget problem thingy probably doesn't even affect you...
Economists warn against more Fed action (AP)-- "The best cure for the economy now is time. That's the overwhelming opinion of leading economists... They say the Federal Reserve shouldn't bother trying to stimulate the economy -- and could actually do damage if it did."
* Oh pish-posh! Those economists are bringing us all down. QE 1 & 2 worked wonders for Wall St. and nothing represents the strength and vitality of an economy more than its markets. These people are Professionals and if 'trickle down' didn't work, they wouldn't keep doing it.
Raising College Costs Price Out Middle Class (CNN Money) -- "As the out-of-pocket costs of a college education go up faster than incomes, it's pricing low and medium income families out of a college education... (Tuition and fees at public universities) have surged almost 130% over the last 20 years -- while middle class incomes have stagnated."
* College is still an Incredible value that guarantees you will be anything you wish to be.. A Doctor perhaps? Or a Lawyer? Yes it may cost a wee bit more than it once did but the overall return on the investment will more than pay for itself. And some say debt is a good thing...
Greece Falls To S&P's Lowest Rated, Default Warned (Reuters)-- "Greece became the lowest-rated country in the world according to Standard & Poor's, which downgraded it on Monday and warned that any attempt to restructure the country's debt would be considered a default."
* Oh what do those credit agencies know anyways? Bunch of sillies... Greece is fine... nothing wrong at all. Would they be getting bailouts if there was really a problem? Very small matter- we shouldn't concern ourselves...
Obama Looks to Make Amends with Wall St. (NY Times) -- "After labeling financiers "fat cats" more than a year ago and pushing new regulations on the industry, Mr. Obama is on the charm offensive..."
* Oh well.. um.. You see.. um.. OK, its like this.. um.. Um...
Aaagghhhh!
Goodness, this pretend optimism is just exhausting.. I don't know how the mainstream media can do it every day in every article.. think I need to lie down or something to clean off the Yukk.
No comments:
Post a Comment